Pagosa Springs Rotary ClubProceedings were kicked off by Cindy Galabota with an invocation that illustrated donkeys can’t swim. True, Cindy did maintain the invocation showed the folly of being an empty-headed yes man (a point also being made by the investigation headed by Robert Mueller), but I think she was just looking for an excuse to use the word “ass” in public. Here’s how it went – you be the judge:
An old man was leading a donkey, with a boy riding, down a road. A passer-by criticized the boy for disrespecting his elders by riding while the man walked. Concerned, they switched. Soon, another passer-by criticized the man for cruelty to the child, by riding while the boy walked. Concerned, both the man and the boy began to walk. But the next passer-by criticized them both for abusing the donkey, by making it walk with no purpose. Concerned, the man and the boy picked up the donkey to carry it, but it slipped from their grasp while on a bridge passing over a stream, whereupon it fell into the water and drowned.
Now, clearly, that showed donkeys can’t swim. But Cindy disclosed her secret objective, by claiming “the moral of the story is if you try to please everyone, you might as well kiss your ass good bye.” Now, I ask you, why didn’t she just say, “See, donkeys can’t swim?”
When the guffaws and applause from Cindy’s invocation died down, the absence of any Songmeister at the meeting was discovered. President Shellie Peterson called for volunteers to lead a song, and someone shouted out, “Let’s do White Christmas.” And so it was, as a tentative rendering of the modern X-mas classic was credibly provided by Rotarians struggling to recall the lyrics.
Guests were then welcomed, most prominently our-own Ramona Tscharr, back for a visit to Pagosa from her new home Austin, Texas.
Following greetings to Ramona and other guests, attention was turned to the Rotary Christmas Party, to be this year at the Colorado Timber Ridge Clubhouse on the evening of December 14. The cost will be modest, at $20/person including all the festivities, food by The Buck Stops Here, and setups for BYOB beverages. Party crew volunteers were solicited.
During the party, there will be a gag gift exchange (each couple brings one gift of whatever nature as deemed appropriate, and gifts are distributed by draw subject to the right of piratical claim by subsequent drawees). Requests went out for the loan for use at the party of battery-powered lanterns, table cloths, serving utensils, crock pots and roaster pans. Finally, a registration sheet for attendees was circulated, including a column to volunteer a desert.
Also in connection with the Christmas Party, Kim Moore reported that the Evans family, recently devastated by the loss of their home in the Vista neighborhood and all their belongings, had already received a wide variety of donated items to help meet their immediate needs. The one exception, she said, is that Mr. Evans continues to need replacements for his tools. So Kim suggested that to help, tools donated by Rotarians for his benefit be collected at the Party.
Exchange students Theodor Bonlokke and Catalina Acuilera reported on their Thanksgiving experiences. Theo traveled with his host family to Tucson, he said, and appreciated the warm weather and good food. Catalina reported having enjoyed her first ski lesson, which she noted included an unanticipated opportunity to hug a tree, and also swam in her first meet with the Pasosa Springs Lady Aqua Pirates, which she reported went “really well.”
Larry McClintock then made a pitch of interest only to “anyone here over 70,” touting the opportunity to direct distributions from IRA accounts directly to a charitable foundation (ahem, one suspects Larry had in mind the Rotary Foundation, although being a modest man, he was coy about it) without incurring any tax liability for the distribution.
Dave Campbell then announced blue badges for new members Helen Richardson, Jeannie Bissell, and Alan Roth. An interesting event, indeed, since your reporter had long since forgotten these three – who have already become as comfortable as old shoes – were new members. Life is full of pleasant surprises when you get to be a certain age and things sort of blend into the obscurity of partial memory!
The meeting then turned to the Feed our Children campaign. While circulating a volunteer sign-up sheet for the next several weeks, Jo Bridges reported that 29 families with a total of 89 children were participating this year, a record for the program. Jo asked for the donation by Rotarians of their surplus “great, big suitcases,” which are needed to transport multiple backpacks stuffed with food from the loading depot uptown, to the Elementary School Distribution room, where the packs are picked up by third graders.
The suitcases presently in use, are “falling apart,” Jo explained. She added that in addition to replacement luggage, volunteers with “big” vehicles are needed to move the filled suitcases downtown.
Next, Carrie Weiss asked for a few more volunteers to fill slots for the Salvation Army Bell Ringing/Christmas Collection campaign assigned to Rotary at City Market. In addition, while Rotary is well on the road to meeting its campaign commitment, Carrie reported that the number of volunteers to help the campaign at Wallmart so far has lagged behind the need, and asked for additional Rotarians to fill in there.
Madame President then reminded that next week, December 6, is Rotary’s Annual Meeting, at which new Board Members will be elected. She noted that some nominations have been made, but added that additional nominations are welcome, and encouraged members to evaluate potential candidates for possible nomination.
Betty Switzer then donned her seasonal Rudolph sunglasses, with antlers and a red nose, for Sunshine/Showers. Betty herself offered the first Sunshine, in honor of Ramona’s visit; “You are missed,” quoth our ersatz Rudolph.
Dave Richardson then denied offering a sunshine, saying that Betty had only misunderstood the glare off his dome. This denial was followed by Sunshine spreading so rapidly like a summer sunrise that your humble reporter, already blinded by the actual sunshine streaming in the windows (and reflecting off Dave’s head), was unable to keep up.
Consequently, it can only be noted here that Sunshines were offered by several including Granton Bartz, Larrry McClintock, and Kim Moore. On the other hand, Sue Walen temporarily clouded the picture with a Shower, reporting on a lost wallet and the attendant chore of replacing essential documents and credit cards, but Kim restored the brightness by offering Sue (whose worldly possessions were until that moment clutched in a plastic freezer bag) a new wallet she had brought back from Tibet. And Kriss Campbell followed up congratulations offered to herself and husband Dave at some point during the sunrise unrecalled here, by explaining they had both won age/gender group 5K races in Marathon, Texas that they entered when visiting with friends. Not saying it was unfair to take advantage of them unsuspecting lowlanders, but no wonder endurance athletes come to Colorado to train! Go Pagosa!